Just when you feel you want to trust people around you, it just happens that they do something to you so you won't trust them. You try your hardest to believe, to have faith and give them a chance to prove themselves worthy of your trust but then they just disappoint you. How do you let go and trust that other being without ever thinking that this person might hurt you or might disappoint you one way or another...How do you believe a word they say when in the past those words have been empty and has left you hanging ever since...How do these people go about doing things and even saying things to make you believe a point when the things they say are actually pointless...
What is trust anyway? Who do you actually trust? When can you say that it's about time you trust?
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BROTHERHOOD AND SOLIDARITY
January of 2007, I received a text message from a very close family friend, inviting me and my husband to join the Election of Officers for a certain airsoft organization, in Tagaytay City. Being the supportive wife that I am, I told my husband that we should grace this small but important gathering since he was once one of the pioneers and co-founder of this organization (local chapter) way back 2000 or 2001 along with some of his co-workers. So, together with my husband and my lady cousin, who was invited also by our friend, we went to the event. When we got to our meeting place, before setting off to Tagaytay, we met this small group who were the core members of this organization, and a couple of them were even new applicants. They were such a welcoming group that we never felt left out even when we finally got to Tagaytay and witnessed the election of officers, their meeting of the minds and the camaraderie that this small group shared.
As this meeting-election progressed, my cousin and I felt that we would like to try what this organization offers, and see for ourselves if we would enjoy what this guys enjoy, anyway, there were two other ladies present in this meeting who are big fans of this hobby and hardcore players too, so we thought that maybe we could also do what they can do (or at least try..) After the meeting I told my husband that I would like to try the hobby, and that this would be his chance to go back playing airsoft after so many years. So the officers told us to just visit the site, and bring our gears and play the game. To make the story short, we ended up applying for membership, and attended every single game day to complete the required number of games for us to be bonafide members (much to our excitement).
My cousin and I invited our other cousins and friends to try this hobby. We were so thrilled with the hobby, the thought of having our own airsoft gears, meeting new friends and for me, the thought that my husband and I are into the same sports together. The core group were really supportive of us, orienting us to the game, teaching us about airsoft stuff, training each one of us to handle AEGs and boosting our confidence that we could make it in their world. Everyone was nice.
As our stay in this group progressed, the number of applicants grew also. But there was something with the progress that I felt was happening right before our very eyes and nobody even noticed, or maybe people just chose to ignore. As we went from one event to another, it seemed that the only thing that mattered to some people, was to build the group by number. I may not be able to explain thoroughly how things were happening in the group but it seemed that there were some who wants their personal dramas in life, and personal issues noticed by others. There were a lot of concerns coming in, and little by little, the small group, the core group, that I once admired, is starting to crumble. One brother will be having an issue with another brother. Rules that were set for the group's structure were bent to accomodate other rules that are inappropriate. Position and power is now a matter of importance. Seniority is either ignored or given way too much of a deal. The core group that I once knew, would support one brother more than an applicant or a new member, no brother would turn his back on one brother in favor of a wannabe. But this things have happened. In a span of a year, relationships are stained. Some members of the core are not given their rightful say to a certain suggestion or a certain idea, some are even shussed to keep their mouth shut. Where was the group that I saw in Tagaytay willing to rebuild the small group they were left with after some former members chose to go the other way? Where was the support they had for each other and most of all their RESPECT for one another? Where was the HOO-RAH that each one of them was ever gracious to give the other brother anytime he needs it? How could someone allow new members to disrespect other brothers in position, either in their face or behind their backs?
It's sad how these things could happen. I know that I am not a full pledged member because I haven't been inducted, but I've done my fair share to complete what is required of me to become one. I may not have been active for the past months in the game, but I have been on the sides, observing the chaos that nobody even noticed. I couldn't help myself but shake my head in disappointment. It's like everybody wants to have their say, and for every little thing they did for the group, it's like everybody wants to be thanked for, to be appreciated. Where's the selfless support that a person commits for our beloved group to succeed? "Thank you" or no "Thank you"?
Sometimes I'd wish that I'm wrong with all my observations. Sometimes I'd wish I could just ignore everything. But I can't. Because this is the group that I admire so much, this was the group that I longed to be a part of because of the sense of belongingness, this was the group I was willing to give my heart and my precious time to, and it's unfortunate that these things are happening. I pray that soon everything will be A-OK, and that what the core has before will be brought to light and that they will realize that after all, brotherhood is what really matters.
As this meeting-election progressed, my cousin and I felt that we would like to try what this organization offers, and see for ourselves if we would enjoy what this guys enjoy, anyway, there were two other ladies present in this meeting who are big fans of this hobby and hardcore players too, so we thought that maybe we could also do what they can do (or at least try..) After the meeting I told my husband that I would like to try the hobby, and that this would be his chance to go back playing airsoft after so many years. So the officers told us to just visit the site, and bring our gears and play the game. To make the story short, we ended up applying for membership, and attended every single game day to complete the required number of games for us to be bonafide members (much to our excitement).
My cousin and I invited our other cousins and friends to try this hobby. We were so thrilled with the hobby, the thought of having our own airsoft gears, meeting new friends and for me, the thought that my husband and I are into the same sports together. The core group were really supportive of us, orienting us to the game, teaching us about airsoft stuff, training each one of us to handle AEGs and boosting our confidence that we could make it in their world. Everyone was nice.
As our stay in this group progressed, the number of applicants grew also. But there was something with the progress that I felt was happening right before our very eyes and nobody even noticed, or maybe people just chose to ignore. As we went from one event to another, it seemed that the only thing that mattered to some people, was to build the group by number. I may not be able to explain thoroughly how things were happening in the group but it seemed that there were some who wants their personal dramas in life, and personal issues noticed by others. There were a lot of concerns coming in, and little by little, the small group, the core group, that I once admired, is starting to crumble. One brother will be having an issue with another brother. Rules that were set for the group's structure were bent to accomodate other rules that are inappropriate. Position and power is now a matter of importance. Seniority is either ignored or given way too much of a deal. The core group that I once knew, would support one brother more than an applicant or a new member, no brother would turn his back on one brother in favor of a wannabe. But this things have happened. In a span of a year, relationships are stained. Some members of the core are not given their rightful say to a certain suggestion or a certain idea, some are even shussed to keep their mouth shut. Where was the group that I saw in Tagaytay willing to rebuild the small group they were left with after some former members chose to go the other way? Where was the support they had for each other and most of all their RESPECT for one another? Where was the HOO-RAH that each one of them was ever gracious to give the other brother anytime he needs it? How could someone allow new members to disrespect other brothers in position, either in their face or behind their backs?
It's sad how these things could happen. I know that I am not a full pledged member because I haven't been inducted, but I've done my fair share to complete what is required of me to become one. I may not have been active for the past months in the game, but I have been on the sides, observing the chaos that nobody even noticed. I couldn't help myself but shake my head in disappointment. It's like everybody wants to have their say, and for every little thing they did for the group, it's like everybody wants to be thanked for, to be appreciated. Where's the selfless support that a person commits for our beloved group to succeed? "Thank you" or no "Thank you"?
Sometimes I'd wish that I'm wrong with all my observations. Sometimes I'd wish I could just ignore everything. But I can't. Because this is the group that I admire so much, this was the group that I longed to be a part of because of the sense of belongingness, this was the group I was willing to give my heart and my precious time to, and it's unfortunate that these things are happening. I pray that soon everything will be A-OK, and that what the core has before will be brought to light and that they will realize that after all, brotherhood is what really matters.
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